This is my first post on blogger since I needed to change sites. Yay for that.
So I am in Charlotte for the NYWC. I attended the conference last year in Pittsburgh and had an amazing time. I was really looking forward to this year for a need to rejuvenate. The last few months have been pretty rocky. I have been so unsure as to whether I am going in the right direction or not.
So I came to this convention really trying to be prayerful about the whole thing. I feel such a disconnect from God and yet I try and lead teens to God. Crazy isn't it. It has been so long since I actually sat down and truly listened to God. I am so incredibly busy with going to school and trying to work 3.5 hours from the school. My schedule just goes none stop and I never seem to see a break insite. However, today I attended Yacanelli's seminar. And it definate hit home, both personally and on the youth ministry level. I have decided that I am going to make every possible effort to spend the first hour of every day with God. This is a huge deal for me. I have never been one with a specific carved out time for God. I have always been a make sure you do some sort of devotion some point in the day kind of girl. But I know it is what is needed. I pray God can help me do it b/c I know I can't.
I know another step I need to do is sit down with my pastor, which I am actually dreading. She is cool and all, I just never seem to say what I need to when I talk to her. Things aren't good and I don't know how to say it. Recently major change has happened in my group from pastor changes, to youth worker sell-outs, and too many rumors. It just plain sucks. But it is weird. While I was sitting in the general session tonight, I just felt so at peace with being at the right church...but yet I don't all at the same time. I don't know. December 15th will either make it or break it. That is the day I find out if the church got the grant to keep me on staff next year.
Too much going on. I am just tired and wish I had time for an actual vacation...or even a half day of sabbath.